Divorce and Separation Counselling in Montreal

Separation changes more than the relationship. Home, routine, finances, social life, and sleep are often disrupted at the same time, and decisions with long-term consequences have to be made while all of this is happening. Many people find that the practical demands leave little room to deal with how they are actually doing.

I am a Canadian Certified Counsellor offering individual divorce and separation counselling at my office in Westmount, near Atwater metro, and online across Montreal. I work with people at every stage: considering a separation, in the first months after it, during the divorce process, and in the period of rebuilding that follows.

Considering Separation

Some clients come to counselling before anything has been decided. The relationship has been strained for some time, and the question of whether to stay or leave has become difficult to set aside. The work at this stage is to make that decision deliberately rather than reactively: clarifying what you want, what has already been tried, and what each option would realistically involve. It can also include preparing for difficult conversations, including how and when to tell a partner.

The First Months After Separating

The period immediately after a separation is often the most disorienting. Grief can arrive even when the separation was your decision. Sleep is disrupted, concentration drops, and low mood or anxiety can take hold. New living arrangements, reduced contact with shared friends, and an empty routine add to the strain.

Research describes two sides of this. A review of the research on divorce and health concluded that most people do well following a marital separation, and that the bulk of the risk for poor outcomes is carried by a minority of people (Sbarra, Hasselmo and Bourassa, 2015). The risk for that minority is significant. A meta-analysis of 32 studies involving more than 6.5 million people found that separated and divorced adults had a higher risk of early death than married adults, and that the increase was greater for men and for younger adults (Sbarra, Law and Portley, 2011). Most people adjust well. For those who do not, the effects can be lasting, which is why persistent difficulty after a separation warrants attention.

Common difficulties include:

• Grief, sadness, or a persistent low mood
• Disrupted sleep, appetite, and concentration
• Anger or resentment toward a former partner
• Difficulty functioning at work
• Increased drinking or other ways of avoiding the situation
• Isolation and a loss of daily structure

During the Divorce Process

Formal separation and divorce bring their own pressures. Negotiations over property, finances, and arrangements can extend over months, and each exchange with a former partner can reopen the conflict. Anger and resentment are common, and they can lead to decisions or communications that are later regretted.

Counselling during this period focuses on managing those reactions so that you can deal with the process clearly. That includes regulating anger before difficult exchanges, keeping communication with a former partner brief and purposeful, and separating the emotional side of the conflict from the decisions that need to be made. I do not provide legal or mediation advice. The work runs alongside whatever legal process is underway.

Rebuilding Afterward

Months or years after a separation, some people find they have not fully re-established themselves. Routine remains thin, social contact has narrowed, and the sense of who they are outside the relationship is unclear. Others notice the same patterns repeating in new relationships. This stage of the work focuses on rebuilding daily structure, social connection, and a clear sense of direction.

How Divorce and Separation Counselling Works

The first session is an assessment. We review where things stand, what has changed, and how you are functioning day to day: sleep, work, mood, and anger. From there we agree on what to address first.

The work typically includes four strands, weighted according to your stage. First, stabilizing: addressing sleep, low mood, and anger so that you can function and think clearly. Second, managing conflict: handling exchanges with a former partner without escalation. Third, deciding: making the decisions in front of you deliberately, on a realistic timeline. Fourth, rebuilding: re-establishing routine, social contact, and a sense of identity outside the relationship.

Sessions are available in person at my office in Westmount and online across Montreal.

Who This Service Is For

I work with adults at any stage of separation or divorce, whether the decision was theirs, their partner’s, or mutual. Many of my clients are men, and some have not discussed the separation in any depth with anyone else. Some arrive because the practical side is under control but they are not.

Separation often follows other difficulties. Where it follows an affair, infidelity counselling covers that side of the work. For fathers, parenting and co-parenting after a separation are covered in fatherhood counselling. Low mood, anxiety, and anger are common after a separation, and they are addressed as part of the same process.

Schedule a Free 10-Minute Phone Consultation

Professional Background

Academic qualifications and professional memberships:

• Master of Counselling and Psychotherapy
• Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy
• Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC), Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association

Learn more about my background and qualifications.

Counselling That Fits in With Your Schedule

I’m available for appointments Monday to Friday from 8 am to 8 pm and Saturday from 10 am to 4 pm, either in-person at my office in Westmount, or online for your convenience.

You don’t need a referral to make an appointment. You can contact me directly by phone, email, or book a session through the website.

If you're not quite ready to book but would like to learn more or get a sense of how I work, I offer a free 10-minute consultation by phone.

Your First Appointment

In our first session, we’ll talk through the following:

• Your main concerns and what has brought you to therapy
• How these concerns are impacting your day-to-day life and relationships
• Your expectations, goals, and hopes for the work ahead

This initial session is also an opportunity for you to get a sense of how I work and to ask any questions you may have.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can counselling help me decide whether to separate?
Yes. Counselling can help you clarify what you want, what has already been tried, and what each option would involve, so that the decision is made deliberately rather than under pressure. The decision remains yours.

Do you provide legal or mediation advice?
No. I do not provide legal or mediation advice. Counselling focuses on how you are managing the separation and runs alongside any legal or mediation process.

Is it normal to still be struggling months after a separation?
It is common. Most people adjust well over time, but a significant minority continue to have difficulty with mood, sleep, or daily functioning well after the separation. If that applies to you, it is appropriate to address in counselling.

Do you offer online sessions?
Yes. I offer in-person sessions at my office in Westmount and online across Montreal.

Do you issue insurance receipts?
Yes. I provide receipts that can be submitted to your insurance provider. Confirm directly with your insurer whether services from a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC) are covered under your plan.

Further Reading

• Depression Therapy
• Anger Management Counselling
• Infidelity Counselling
• Fatherhood Counselling
• Men's Issues Counselling

Booking a Consultation

To book a free 10-minute consultation, contact the practice at (514) 360-7205 or contact@pauljozsef.ca, or click the button below.

Schedule a Free 10-Minute Phone Consultation